Some days it's just better to not read the news..

I mean REALLY  Is it a southern thing?

And, what is up with this? Politically Correct my Arse!

Maybe just one more for your light reading.., OK! Then...

Somewhere we have gone so far off track..   I find myself confused a lot these days.  What is our role as parents?  Where do I fit into my children's education?  Did I miss the memo that says we are not to steer out kids moral compass any longer?  

YIKES, a farm house in the middle of nowhere, off the grid is sounding better and better these days... 

Common Core, research, and FAT!

Common Core has one goal in life, to show me just how inept at math I truly am.  When my 2nd grader comes home with his math homework I find myself cringing just a bit.  All those blocks frighten me to be honest.   Do the creators of Common Core realize how hard math was for me to grasp the first time around?  Now they want me to learn an entirely new method.  I am just not sure this mama has it in her.

Sitting there counting on my fingers, trying to decipher the correct order the numbers should be "boxed".  I mean we are talking about 3 digit addition here folks.   This is not numbers, algorithms have no place here.   To the creators of CC I say,  I will not be defeated,  I have a secret weapon.. My teenage son.  He knows that funny math, and makes a great tutor..  A 10 spot goes a long way to a kid preparing for homecoming.

For those that are following the CC debate, eh, I followed it for a time and quickly realized it's way to political for an education program.  Do I really want my kids reading The Bluest Eye?  Not really, but then again the book is on a high school (junior, senior) level.  I remember reading  The Color Purple when I was in 7th grade.   I wonder how many teenage girls read 50 Shades?  What my children read, and are taught about their rights is something Ian and I as parents should be dealing with. As our children get older they will inevitably be subjected to opinions and people we don't necessarily agree with.  Who decided that children/young adults, can't have an open and honest discussion on hot topics (Miley Cyrus not included)?  Kids learn from those around them, their biggest influences should be their parents.  In a perfect world I guess..

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Let's talk research.  I, HATE. RESEARCH.  OK, discussion over.. ha ha..   Some days I find myself sitting down to research something and 2 minuets later the kids are returning home from school. Always hungry!  Anyone else notice that? What about school has my children running for the pantry like they spent their day in the Sahara and not the suburbs?  Research like anything I guess depends on the topic I am diving into.  School subjects seem to be very mundane, while writing topics will have me engrossed for hours.  Is there some portion of the brain that can tell the difference?

I am currently researching religion.  Oh, now there is a topic that will keep me busy for days.  Sadly I don't have days.  I am on a deadline, admittedly self imposed but I have come to realize if I don't set deadlines I end up way off course.  Perhaps there is some correlation there with my bad math skills?

I am really enjoying my research on religion.  Gaining an education of sorts, yet still confirming many of my past suspicions..  Religion for the most part seems to be man made, and dates back farther than I can even fathom.  Those people coming together to celebrate one idea, one belief system.  How religion was created, and for what reason is my endeavor for the day.  Hopefully it ends up helping me, at the very least I will be better educated.  And, that always makes for a good day...

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FAT~!  Yep, I put it all out there.  My bits and pieces are multiplying.  It would be very easy for me to blame my kids, Ian's job, or the fact that I live in the Tundra 9 months out of the year.  Alas, the blame days are over.  All me.  My fault.  Well and Culvers' butter burgers.  I could enjoy one daily, followed by a Starbucks Pumpkin anything and call my day fruitful.  My scale on the other hand is a mean ol' witch and has reminded me that I should probably find a better way to enjoy pumpkin...   The other day I read an interesting article about carrots, and sticks.  If you want your child to accomplish a goal, use a carrot (not a real one, probably more something like ice cream) but you get my point here.. My carrot will be in the form of a pumpkin latte from Starbucks.  For every 5 miles I run, I will treat myself to one.  Not really sure how that will clear up my bits and pieces, but if it will get my tubby butt back in the gym then I am all for it.   I have come to love my yoga pants and sofa a bit to much these past few weeks.  Not to mention shopping for an entire new wardrobe (as much as I loved Miley's skin colored bikini) is just not in the cards for me right now!


I know, I know not as hot topic as the past few posts, but in all honesty my life is very mundane.  Taxing my kids from here to there, cooking, laundry, writing (when I have a spare moment) and just living a very simple yet amazing life.   From time to time I will write something that hits a nerve.    I am almost positive there will be more of my opinions posted here, after all I have met myself a time or 2.  :)

Maybe I should end with a quote....

May You Live Everyday Of Your Life!!!! 

Oh, the feedback...

2 days ago I wrote this article YIKES!   My reasons for writing it were simple.   My sheer level of frustration the main culprit.  I went back to (fact check) and counted 7 posts in my feed where someone was tossing their spouses rank around.  Most from people I don't know personally.  But, FB is a public social media site.  How many other spouses were lucky enough to be subjected to that crap?  What does that say about our "community"? Some people eat, others run, I write.  It saves my sanity and my family from having to listen to my rants!  From time to time I actually get paid for my writings.. :)  Boy do I need the money, have you seen the price of tuxedos these days?  The teenager wants a white one for homecoming.  Oh, now there is a blog post waiting to be written..

 This AM I woke up shocked at how many people have read my rant. This is my "new" blog, and not as out there as my last.  Although I did post it openly on FB, maybe that helped.  Sadly I had to lock my old blog because well, it was written while we were stationed overseas, and I just didn't want my kids pictures out there.

  Just in the last couple of hours over 100 people have taken the time to enjoy my writings witness my obscene love for commas, and horrid sentence structure..  I have also received a bit of feedback via FB, and private message for my writings.  

For the most part the feedback was positive. Thank you grammar police for being so kind!  Some however have decided that I am a lofty navy spouse who sits on her soapbox and I must have a dysfunctional marriage.  Eh, I think my marriage is just fine.  Thanks for all the concern though.   Others have stated that they personally received calls from several Master Chief Wives and even the CMC welcoming them to the mess.   Yeah, yeah I got the same call.  We all attended the lunch, and sat through the spiel. I was criticized for the basic structure of my post.  Guilty on that one.  Again, this is my personal blog, I don't write in a specific format.  Hell most of the time I am happy all the words are spelled correctly.  It has been stated that I am part of the problem not part of the solution, and something or other about feeding bad eggs to handicapped birds.  Still working that one out.  To that I say BULLOCKS!  I said something that most people have thought about at one time or another.   I stepped on feelings, and damaged toes.   Sorry about all that..

I find it interesting that the only negative feedback I have received, came from Chief wives.  Each one calling a foul on my post by telling me what is wrong with me, and how I am feeding into a stereotype. Tearing down, rather than building up...   Oh, the irony of it all!  Perhaps I have struck a cord (or is it nerve). Probably a nerve as I have zero musical skills.  Singing in the shower not withstanding.   There is a belief within the military community that you "keep it in house", and I just put our shit all out there.  Doesn't make it any less true.

 I have been privileged to know so many spouses from all sides of the Navy.  I have gained a few good friends from our travels, and yes, even some people who think I am completely off my rocker.  Opening my mouth/giving my opinion when unnecessary.  GUILTY on all counts.  It's very easy to judge what I have written, and I even welcome it.  When it's all said and done if even ONE spouse stops and thinks about what they say and how they say it then I am happy to be "that wife on my soapbox, damaging the fabric of the Khaki community."   There is a time and place to say/show how you feel.  This absurd belief that we can't rock the boat, where did that come from?  Eh, kill the messenger is a saying for a reason I guess.  Good thing I have a thick skin.  At the rate I am not working out, getting thicker by the day..

  Being a Navy spouse is just one facet of who I am.  Closing myself off (as some wives have done) from the community all together is just not the route I choose to take.  I would miss out on making some amazing friends, and experiencing wonderful get togethers.   By the same token being "just" a Navy spouse is not who I am either.  Is my mix perfect? HELL NO!  I am in no way perfect, just ask my kids and husband.   Like most people I am just muddling through this life.  A very unique one that I am blessed each day to be a part of.   One where we have tasteless names for one another *dependaponamus" being one.   Where did all this hostility come from?  Has it always existed?  Maybe social media just feeds the beast, and allows things to spread at the speed of light!  Or, maybe to many of us are part of the social media pages that feed the beast.  Laughing at others, liking a page we should all be boycotting.  I for one am guilty of that..

This need to grab defensive as though it's a life preserver, instead of understanding one another.  Jumping in with the last word, or demanding to be right no matter the cost.  I recently read an article correlating a service members fitness to his spouses weight.  The tone was off kilter, and just wrong in my opinion.. However it flew around like wildfire, causing an uproar.  As of yet I have seen no one speak on the REAL reason we have so many overweight service members.   Because the military allows it.  You want to get rid of all the comments, photos and negativity surrounding fat service members (because we all know they exist) kick them out of the military!  Simple. Problem. Solved.  Sometimes it's easier to focus on the tone of the message and ignore the actual message.

So to all those who I have offended, maybe there is a reason you are so offended? I am merely one person who happens to know how to type on a computer.  A spouse who has been subjected to one to many lofty news feed posts.  One to many "do you know who my husband is?"  

Someone who is just not really afraid of being judged! So judge away.  Spend all day criticizing my marriage, my life, my shitty sentence structure.  Call me out on being a negative Nancy.  After all it's easier to dissect the messenger than maybe see a bit of yourself in the message :)

An open letter to the Chief Spouse community...

See what I did there, started it off all politically correct.  This should go swimmingly..

Sorry but it's just not fun anymore!

Yesterday marked the end of the season (I for one am thankful)..  There I was sitting down with my first cup of morning Java. I enjoyed it with a new Italian sweet cream.  You all should try it!  With Starbucks new coffee.  Oh so good..  But I digress..

Like most mornings I logged into FB, and the very first post in my feed was from a Navy spouse who happens to run a Chiefs spouse page, he/she was welcoming the new Chief spouses into the mess...  WHAT???  It took me a second to realize what I was seeing.   I even checked the page to be sure I hadn't somehow stumbled onto a REAL Chiefs page..  I reread the post thinking maybe she/he was welcoming the spouses into the Chiefs community. (Although I am still stumped on that one as well)  Nope, it was a spouse page, and said spouse was welcoming other spouses into the mess.  Like the real one.  You know the one the service members go to daily for work.  Yep that one!  I just shook my head and moved on about my day..

As the day progressed I began to notice a trend.  Spouses welcoming so and so into the mess.  Congratulating this person or that on their promotion.  But, here is the thing not a single person being welcomed or congratulated is actually serving their country. Sorry, being married to someone in the Military doesn't mean we serve.  Put all the bumper stickers on your car you want, but unless/until you sign an actual contract, complete boot camp and take a set of orders you are NOT in the military!  No waking up at 4 am to be at work, spending months sleeping in a tiny rack, or running the PRT.  NOPE!

 I would have to think back, but I don't seem to recall Ian needing my help to take the Chiefs test.  Just like I was not there when he took the test for E-4, 5 or 6.  I was slowly becoming more and more frustrated.  Why, you ask?  Well, pull up a chair because I am going to tell you, or if you are one of the people this letter is written to click the back button now and commence the shit talking :)

I do not love my husband any more now then I did before he was a Chief. There seems to be this misconception that being a Chiefs spouse somehow gives one status.   Um, let me see.  NOPE!  I was even given a nice little handbook to read at the meet and greet.  (in all honesty I had never seen the handbook until about 6 weeks ago, didn't even know it existed)  ha ha ha!  Personally I think that handbook should be given to ALL new Navy spouses.  Take Chief off the cover and just title it Navy Spouse!  The day you get married to someone in the military you should be given 2 things.  A sign that reads "everything in the Navy is written in Jello", and a Navy Spouse handbook.  The one I read  is chalked full of resources that ALL Navy spouses should be aware of.

Who I am as a wife/mother/(fill in the blank with career, as this seems to change with each duty station) is not undervalued because my husband is Navy.  Who I am is no less important that who he is.  What he does for his career does not equate to me being below him.  And, in some cases what I do to help his career.. Preparing the subpar meals, (some of you all know I can operate a rice cooker and boil pasta with the best of them) and keeping our sock basket full so he can root around at 5 am looking for a matching pair is important.    Yes, he makes more money that I do.  Yes, his career will always have to come first.  That is just the way the cookie crumbled for us.   But, see here is the thing, it was the same when he was an E-6, E-5.. you get my drift.  Who we are as a married couple and family is the exact same today as it was the day Ian enlisted. With the exception of more little minions running our lives, oh and less money (blame said minions) ....

This inherent need to wear a rank not bestowed to you is making things much worse for moral.   I get pride!  The day Ian was pinned Chief my chest swelled with pride for him.  Walking out with my man in his Khakis was an amazing feeling. (not to mention Ian can rock a set of Khakis)   You see Ian had worked so hard for his career.  Missed so many milestones in our lives.  Celebrated one to many birthdays and anniversaries with a phone call (if we were lucky)   Chief was his goal.  A benchmark of sorts.   All his hard work and dedication had paid off. He earned it, and I could not have been happier!  And, PLEASE don't give me that, we sacrifice crap..  We as Chief spouses don't sacrifice anymore than any other spouse.  If anything we should know and understand how trying being married to someone in the Navy can be.    

Is military life different YES! I would even go so far as to say more stressful than a regular job/career.  But, it is stressful from DAY 1, no matter the rank.  Officer, enlisted, chief, or petty officer.  As spouses we all have the same issues.  Same worries.  We all have our days where bed time can't come fast enough, and making that pay check stretch an extra week keeps us up at night.  Every single one of us has paced the floor at 2am praying that they are safe.  Quietly asking for the strength to just get through one more deployment.  Swearing that this is the LAST ONE!  He will just get out, retire, and work at Home Depot.  OK, well maybe not all of us, but most.

This us/them mentality is being perpetuated more and more in the Navy community by those spouses who should know better!   I for one am sick to death of it.  Pad your own resume, and stop walking around with your spouses taped to your chest.  All it's doing, really.. all it's doing is driving away the diversity that keeps the Navy community so unique and fun.  More and more spouses are puling away from the community.  Keeping themselves apart all together.  Just take a minuet to join your local FB page,  Notice how many spouses are on the page, then notice how many actually post on said page.  It tends to be the same ones over and over.. Posting in the same tone.  I would venture to guess most are the same base to base..(save a select few)   We are loosing so much of the good that existed back when Ian was an E-4, 5.  I was blessed to know so many wives of all different ranks.  We would sit in the Piazza while the kids played and wait for our guys who all worked so hard.    Each one with our own story, our own unique spin on life.  And it was FUN!  Hanging out at the Holiday (see dad my diversity is still kicking) dancing, drinking, and just letting go off all the mundane things Navy life throws at us.  Helping one another out with childcare because if we don't get just 2 hours of quiet time we are going off the first bridge we see.  Relying on one another for a cup of milk, or shot of vodka. Depending on the day.   Planning home coming and half way parties.  Getting a group of gals together at someones house the night before to trade deployment stories and manicures.  Gathering on the Pier and watching with pride as our Sailors came HOME!  Knowing deep down the cycle would start all over again.  But, knowing that no matter what you had your support system.


So, the next time you meet a spouse either in real life or via a FB page, take a moment and introduce YOU to them.. Chances are we all have a lot more in common then we think.. :)

Losing my religion!

Sadly it is GONE!   So much of what I was taught as a child no longer seems to coexist when the word religion is put on the table.  Everyone touting their beliefs, their rules, their commandments.  

When did we stop listening to one another?  If feels as though I woke up one day and realized religion is man made.   Just one more cog in a wheel of self importance, and high egos.  When did daily devotions become about telling others how they should live?   

Is it the loud minority?  I don't think so.  We have moved into a loud majority of Christians judging those around them.   Who's idea was it make this shift?  Where have I been for last last few years?  So many love to hear themselves talk and preach.  Not so many want open and honest dialogue.  

Was this a slow transition, or did it happen all at once?  Do Christians really believe that they have the right to tell others how to live?  How to love?  How to worship?   How to raise their children?  

Have we set out on a path of war against religion?  Who started the war?  How does it end?  What are the terms of surrender?  

Do Christians really believe God wants this disconnect among us?  God did not appoint me a judge in life!  How can people claim to have such wonderful relationships with God, yet spread hate and intolerance so easily?  

These are questions that I found myself plagued with.   I doubt I will find the answers any time soon.  To hot an issue to have an open, actual conversation.  To many believe they are doing Gods work.  

My religion has gone down the same road as politics.  Sadly there is just no hope that it will ever find it's way back into the light.. 

I have decided to step out of the religion debate, leave all the questions for another day or time.  The time has come to focus on those people who share the same values as I do.  Love, Compassion, Humility, Respect, and Tolerance....  That has become my new religion... :)  One I will be proud to raise my kids in!! 

I have hit that age!!!

Where everything seems to piss me off.  These days I spend a great deal of time shaking my head and yelling at benign objects.  TVs and computers tend to take the brunt of my rants.  For your amusement here are a few of my favorite things....

Home based businesses that target stay at home mothers.  All you need to do is provide your e mail address and a "low fee".  Yeah, here is a hint to all you pyramid scheming idiots.  If stay at home mothers had a "low fee" to spend they would not be looking for work!  Oh, and that e mail address that you provide will be sold to companies that will spam you EVERY SINGLE DAY!  Somehow one of these companies got a hold of my e mail address.  I plan to take a page from Rayven's book and send EVERY scam e mail address to the Mormons.  Maybe all they need is prayer?  That is not to say there are not reliable work at home jobs/companies.  But, for the most part they are a scam.  Google work at home scams and you can read for days.


The obscene number of workout/wellness coaches that have cropped up on FB.  REALLY hun, you worked out for a few months, learned how to eat right now you want to "claim" you are educated enough to sell me your services.  For yet another "low fee"  Maybe my work from home million dollar job can pay for your useless knowledge?  I would love to find the person that started the "pay me to tell you shit you already know club".   That person is a freaking genius.  There are plenty of great FB pages/blogs that are FREE!  People who just want to share their knowledge and learn from others.
 Faketogophers fall into this same category.  Just because you can afford a $1000 camera doesn't mean you know shit all about taking good photos.   I too can purchase a photo edit program and be a "photographer".   How about you take some time, attend a class or 2 then build up a portfolio.  Oh, and stop with the passive aggressive shit talking about other photo takers around you.  It's SO very unbecoming!

These mili spouse blogs/pages that seem to spend every ounce of energy calling other mili spouses names, or putting them down.  Is this where we as a community have come?   Do we really need yet another page on the Internet calling mili spouses names?  For shits and giggles today I spent some time looking over blogs/websites/FB pages for mili spouses.  The #1 seem to be hate blogs, followed closely by product sales (pampered chef and the like).. Bringing up the rear are the positive blogs.  You know the ones that actually help other Mili-spouses learn to navigate the murky waters of military life.   Personally I think this is just a product of society as a whole.   Somehow I honestly thought mili spouses were above the crap.  These days we sure seem to be swimming in it!

One of my personal favorites.  Google Animals in need of homes (fill in your state) and just start reading.  You would think these people are fighting the next Battle of Gettysburg.    Let me set the scene.  Someone posts a dog for sale, and in swoop the animal cops.  Demanding a home study, interviews, and future follow up visits.  I honestly think adoption a child in the US is easier than rescuing a dog.  Lord forbid you buy a dog from a reputable breeder.  You will be torn apart at the seams.    By all means rescue all the animals you want, fill your house to the brim if that makes you happy..   Stop judging those of us who choose to purchase a puppy because we have smallish children and are not comfortable with bringing a dog with no known history into our home.

And, last but not least...... The freaking public school system.  This has got to be the biggest freaking racket going these days.  Here is a simple solution. 1 administrator per school. 1 is all you get!  Give that person a secretary, and maybe a registrar but NO more than that.  Why are there 7 people EVERY single time I walk into my kids school?   Allocate a specific dollar amount per pupil and that money goes straight to the teachers.  Do not pass go, do not slip some bureaucrat a brown paper sack full of 100's under the table.  EVERY single cent goes to the teachers.  Give them a program like Core Knowledge (not to be confused with Common Core) and let them do their damn jobs.  Let the kids build volcano's and watch them explode.  Give the kids recess, art, gym, and music.  What do you wanna bet if the politicians and parents would just back off a bit and let the teachers teach our kids would flourish.. Soon enough those teaching that shouldn't be will be rooted out! While were at it all those "teachers" sitting in a room collecting a paycheck because they have been deemed a danger to kids yeah you all can go home now.. WITHOUT the paychecks.    This is going to be one challenging year in the American Public School system for me..  

I recently watched a TED talk "willful blindness"..   Just saying it kind of rings a bit true..

Maybe watch if you have some time.. :)  I plan to watch again if I can climb my ass down off this soap box I found my way onto... !!

Live like a grown up...

These past few months I have read several posts regarding utilities in military housing.  Countless people complaining about being forced to pay for their utility usage.   Quite frankly I am sick to death of hearing this nonsense...  Now it seems there is a petition circulating.  Hoping the White House will step in.  Good Grief!  

Here is the REAL deal!  Military members are allocated a certain dollar amount for utility usage.  If they go over the amount they pay. If they are under they either receive a refund check or are credited.   Um, I bet most American's would love a system like that!  And, just to give you an idea of what the usage price is here is one article  Exhibit A.  

Like every other program there will be bumps in the road, but this program was started because studies proved military housing residents used 45% more power than there civilian like modeled homes.  I have heard such arguments as home size differences, family size differences, and even that homes are not properly weatherized.  Here is a little secret.  Most homes are not 100% weatherized.  Most people who live in like modeled homes lead vastly different life styles.  Some have 2 TV's while other have 5.  It is called the real world!

EVERY other American pays their utilities.  EVERY other American has to take responsibility and be conscious of the power they consume.   I for one am tired of people trading on the "military clause" to garner public attention over issues such as these.

We have REAL problems with our military.  Actual men and women in combat who are still struggling to acquire safe vehicles, or body armor.  Real ships in the fleet that are in need of repairs.  Real people who are serving selflessly with little to no creature comforts of home.

Instead of protesting what you think are unfair power bills here is an idea.. MOVE OUT OF HOUSING!  Pay rent, electric, gas, water and trash like the rest of America.  Learn to budget and live within your means!

And, PLEASE don't try and say you can't afford it.  YES!  Everyone can.  Housing is a priority for ALL Americans.  If your spouse is just beginning his career and has yet to earn substantial rank to support the family then get a job.. Or, redo your family budget.  Like the rest of the world.   Some people plan accordingly to pay bills.  My family and I own 2 older model vehicles.    My family lives in the midwest where the cost of living is considered high.  We pay over $4 for a gallon of gas, and 7.5% tax every time we shop!   We still manage to pay rent and yes even our utilities!

While it is true there are many things being cut, BAH is not one of them.  BAH rates continue to increase (with the exception a a few places it was lowered to meet with standard cost of living for the area)


It is time for mil-spouses to stand up and call a foul.  Being a military spouse does not entitle me to ANY DAMN THING!   This is not Army Wives, and things will not be smoothed over in an hour.  This is real life.  So put on your big girl panties and pay a DAMN BILL... Just like the rest of us!

Thank you Antoinette Tuff

I have never met you, and like the rest of the world, before today I didn't even know your name.  Until today.   This morning as my children were getting ready for school I listened to   THIS!!!     Then I listened to it again.  I sat there stunned at your grace, and poise.  The compassion you were displaying in the face of such abject terror.   I listened as you continued to say things like "you are not a bad person" or "I am going to walk out with you".    I asked myself later if I would have the strength and courage to face such a scenario?  I asked myself what you must have thought about when it was all over?  Your family and friends.  All those people who love you!  Sometime later I thought..  What about the children?  Will they all someday understand the enormity of your actions?  How many of those precious children did you save?

You are a HERO!  I will rest a bit easier tonight knowing your name.  Walking my son to the bus tomorrow I won't squeeze his hand quite so hard, because I know your name.   When the self doubt about sending my son off to a public school beings to rear it's ugly head, I will quiet the voice.  Because I know your name.  

Thank you Antoinette Tuff for giving us all a lesson in grace and compassion.  Thank you for your courage. And, Thank you for now I know your name!  

Sabrina.... 

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!!!

*Cue Cindy Lauper*

These are 4 conversations with my daughter...

As some of you already know I had an injury to my backside a few weeks ago, caused by my dog.. Someday I will blog it... But, due to this injury I spent a lot of time laying on my stomach with pillows under me..

There I am laying on the sofa with my 2 pillows and a blanket.
Piper: Mommy, can I have your pillows?
ME: sure baby, you want to lay down?
Piper: yes..
2 seconds later Piper takes the pillows and walks over to Ian who is laying on the floor..
Piper:  Here daddy, you really need these pillows..
Ian:  (laughing quietly) no, no give them to mommy
Piper:  BUT DADDY! you need them.. (as she gently props them behind Ian).
She then walks over to me and steals my blanket, yep you guessed it because daddy was cold!


While sitting on the sofa
ME:  Piper I love you this much big (stretching my arms out as wide as I can)
Piper:  Well I just love you this little (holding her to fingers 1/4 inch apart)..

Having a tea party with Piper and Ian..
Piper:  Here mommy here is your water to drink..
ME:  Oh, but I am hungry can I have some Chicken noodle soup?
Piper: Um, no only daddy can have 2 chickens...
Ian: yep, I get the 2 chickens... Drink your water..


Piper:  Mommy can you paint my nails?
Me: sure baby sit down and let me see your hands..
(when I am done)
Piper:  OK, mommy now daddy has to dry them for me.. He is a better dryer...

I am beginning to see a running theme with my daughter.  The sun rises and sets with her daddy.

I just hope he thinks so when she is oh, say about 12 or 13 because well shit he got the pillows and chicken!!

Blogging 365

Blogging is my therapy and one I have greatly missed.  :)  I am going to try an experiment with this blog.  Blog 365.  Everyday for a year I am going to find something to write about.  These days I am writing an actual book, one that I am caught up in, and enjoying (OK, when I am not banging my head against the desk).  Or when Ian is not home on leave!  (insert HAPPY DANCE)  Who knows if it will ever get published, really that is not the point or reason I am writing it.  For many years I have written short stories, and even a couple novellas.   When Ian was deployed I spent a lot of my quiet time writing.  I have a TON of unfinished things. Mostly due to my horrid spelling/grammar.   Now that I have been a SAHM for some time I plan to see where it can take me....  If nothing else it will quiet the voices in my head.  Anyone else have conversations with characters at the most random times?  I tend to write about murder, serial killers, and psychics..  All of those people talking in my head can make for long days and a great deal of mumbling to oneself...

But, I still feel like something is missing with my writing.  Blogging.  The real time, events of the day/world/hour typed out.  I started blogging 5 years ago (holy shit it really has been that long)...

Tonight I bring you this to kick off my Blog 365...        REALLY?      Read, discuss and tell me what you think?  


Here is what I think HELL IN A HAND BASKET!!   Just make mine a Longaberger Please.....

Teachable moments... :) Bullying....

As a mother I feel like one of my more important jobs is to teach my kids life lessons.. In between the sticky hands, PB&J's, and Twinkle-Twinkle, I am entrusted to grow these little people.   I choose to not live by Do As I Say, Not As I Do, and employ a more teach, show, method.

Most of these lessons are benign, and my kids never even realize they are "learning".  When I taught my kids to read I used songs and coloring.  Little did they know they were exercising those amazingly big brains they were born with. They get them from their father.   They were just having fun, and for children a lot of life should just be simple, plain fun.  The hard stuff will come later.  The stuff that makes you wonder what the hell is wrong with society?  Were these people raised by wolves?  Did their mothers eat their young?  You know the WOW moments.

Sadly though our kids can not remain little, and they will (not matter how hard we try) grow up.  Making sure they are empowered to handle the big bad world can sometimes be rough.    I thought I had it down.  A core understanding of how I would teach the "big" lessons.  What I would say about sex, drugs, or rock and roll.. Yeah, that last one they are screwed.  We love some good ol' school Rock.

I have practiced what I would say to them, and now having a 16 year old, I have just about perfected my best lecture voice on more than one occasion.  You see I grew up with all of it.  The drinking underage, drugs, and yes even sex.  Not, that I did any of it mind you, but hey I had friends..

 There were even times I snuck those handy dandy pamphlets they put up in Dr. offices.  Slipping them in my bag when no one was looking. Because let's be honest, we all want more information.. We just don't want to admit we take those silly pamphlets..   So, there I was in all my preparedness when a new issue reared it's ugly little head.  Social Media.  FB, Cell phones, Myspace (wait does anyone still use that), and yep, even blogs.  Here in lies a new MASSIVE issue that I must talk to my kids about.  Sit them down, and try to help them navigate what at times can best be described as a run away train..  As an adult (a fairly well educated, if you don't count spelling and punctuation) I honestly have very little idea how to help my children survive such a minefield.

True social media can be a beautiful place.  When children are found and returned home.  The idiot who broke into a home and beat a woman in front of her kids was caught due to social media.  I think I read somewhere the other day that 35% of marriages are due to social websites.  That is a great number for all the divorce lawyers out there..

More often than not social media has become a place to bully.  Little (I mean tiny) people sitting behind a computer screen typing away because they can!   Spending their days trying to make others feel as inadequate as they feel.   And, really what is 1 persons opinion?  You see the problem is it doesn't stay 1 persons opinion for very long.  Bullies tend to breed tag-a-longs.  Other little people that want to jump on any and every bandwagon they can.  Honestly I think these people are worse then the actual bully.  Not only are they small minded but they lack the ability to think for themselves!  Putting those 2 together make for a very scary cocktail of dysfunction.

The only answer I can come up with is to stand up.  To say something. Really those that know me in real life understand this is just me!   Here is what happens when people stand up thought.. They are told, It's none of your business. Or asked why they care?  The bully and their little minions try and turn the issue.  Make it seems as if those who take a stand are the ones in the wrong.  OK! SO!   It's not my issue, so why should I care?  Why should I get involved?  Why should I say anything at all?  Is it really worth it?  YES!  We should.  Because here is the crux of it.  These people who are all over social media acting like bullies are also raising children.  Children that my children will have to survive with, in a world I seem to understand less and less.   A world where a thick skin is as necessary as sun screen.  Gone are the good ol' days of school yard bullying.  Say hello to all out WAR!  Where words are used as weapons, and incessant harassment seem to be social acceptable.

 For better or worse I am not just a mother.. I am also a wife.  It just so happens that I married a man in the military.  Those damn Dress Whites will get you every time..  Another symptom of this nonstop cyber bullying seems to be a corroding of the military core values.  How does a service member handle such a demanding job when their spouse is busy spreading hate via the Internet.  This issue has become so big throughout the military community, the powers that be are searching for a way to handle it.  How many base legal offices are clogged with unnecessary work because of Internet sites and pages.  This morning I was reading on a closed site for military wives about this very issue.  How to handle it?  Once upon a time the military leaders could say "handle your wife/husband".  Those days are no longer.  Sadly, I think they should be returned.  AND FAST!  One small example:  At one duty station, a Full Bird Captain had to take time out of his day to have a meeting with wives about sidewalk chalk. I wonder if ever in his career this man thought he would be commanding a billion dollar war ship one day... And, handling sidewalk chalk the next?  ha ha! 

I witnessed something like this today, (It had NOTHING at all to do with me) I don't know the people personally involved.   Our lives are in no way intertwined.  But, as I sat there reading the screen my blood began to boil.  My heart went out to the wife and mother who was being ganged up on.  A gang of people who like me don't know this person. using words to demand answers to questions they had NO right to ask!  They read a few lines posted by an angry wife and the train went off the tracks.  Thankfully I was not the only voice of reason, but the deck sure seemed stacked against this gal.  When it was all said and done there I sat just staring at the screen, saying a silent prayer.  Really this is where we have come?  This is the life I am raising my children in?  Compassion, understanding, lifting one another up, support, and love are no longer the norm.. How do I teach my children that?  How do I keep from raising them to think everyone is bent?  The only answer I can come up with is to STAND UP!  Show compassion, understanding, lift those around me up, support others, and show love.  That is how!   The same way I teach every other lesson... You see, Actions really do speak louder than words!!  Even in the days of Social Media...

Overload and Overcome!!

Information overload.  To fast, to much noise, to many people rushing here and there.  Driving 90mph, talking on cell phones, texting, and holy cow.

Everything here seems to move at lightning speed.   The kids and I are still trying to adjust to the fast paced life of America.  One consequence of living outside of the US for 13 years.  Are we the only country that moves this fast?  Shops this much?  Are we the only nation that rushes from sun up to sun down, determined to reach I don't know where?

We seem to spend a lot of time at home these days.  Even the few trips to 6 flags have taken their toll.  We LOVE going, but it just seems so fast.  The kids and I went with a friend last week, and as we were walking I noticed a lady with one of those ankle monitor bracelets on. She had on shorts, and was in no way trying to conceal it.  I did a double take.  I found myself thinking far to long about her.   For a split second I had the fleeting thought, oh, to be home again..  Then reality set it.  Japan is NOT home.  It was for a while, but if I think objectively about it we will probably never return.  We are home.  As home as a military family can get.  Home is overload.  Fast paced, shopping till you drop USA.  ( I really still HATE to shop, that will never change)  Home is being less than a days drive from family.  My kids getting to spend a wonderful week with Grandma and Grandpa.  Hanging out planting flowers, and swinging to the sky for hours.   Loading the kids up in the car, and driving into WI to spend the day riding ponies, and feeding baby animals.   Shopping in bulk at SAM's club.. Boy, they really have it down there don't they? Every isle has a different food you can try.  Piper ate 3 cups of green beans, a Popsicle, fruit, crackers, and ended her trip to Sam's with 2 slices of bacon.  Really who needs to cook these days, just spend the day walking around Sam's..   Groupon!  If you have never heard of it, google it.... OK?  Are you back?  SEE!! Isn't it great.  I told you so!

Making the decision everyday to be present in our lives is something we all need to do.  Enjoying IL, and always remembering our time here is limited.  IL will be like any other place we have been voluntold to live. To that end we have decided to become American tourists!  

The Midwest is full of wonderful things to see and do.  Did you know there is a park not far from where I live.  It's the Jelly Stone National Park.  Yogi Bear!!  And, if Yogi Bear is real, then I will find Smallville!   Door County is a days drive, with amazing looking beaches, and quaint little Main St. towns.  Less than 30 minuets from my home is Chicago.  We will be spending a lot of time there.  Museums, the theatre, and really what is Chicago without food.  The Chicago Dog has already become a favorite of half my house.

It is time to embrace living in America. As we go about living our daily lives we have to remember that we are blessed to experience so many beautiful and wonderful cultures.  Starting with our own!  

Sure there will be a lot of the regular, mundane days where not much exciting happens in our lives..  Just as it should be at Home!! :)

New Digs!! Day 1...

Yep, I am back!  It has been a while.  A lot has changed.  So, let me catch you all up.

 We are living life in the suburbs, kids are in semi-normalish public schools (I plan an entire post on public school).
My amazing husband is back in bootcamp. Now he is the bootcamper and not the bootcampy.  Still there from 4am-10pm but they let him have his own coffee cup, so I think this time around will be a bit better.  Redbull gives you wings, Ian will be the test case.

I am in between jobs. Will start back to work here in a few weeks, provided I can convince myself I won't die driving in 100 feet of snow.  To help pass the time, I have started a garden, mostly for our new dogie to eat all my broccoli.  But, hey the tomato's are looking good.

The big kids are all doing good (by teenage standards) one is in drivers ed, the other is hanging out with his new girlfriend.  That is not something I will be blogging about.  Mostly because every time I think about my Noah dating I break out in hives, and find myself drinking way to much Vodka to type...

The Little's are well.. still little.  Peyton will be starting second grade in the aforementioned public school, and has several little people his size in the neighborhood to pal around with.  They seem to spend their days going from house to house begging for food.  Piper is almost 3 and good at it.  She occupies her days yelling at the teenagers, and dancing.  *insert Vodka here*  They have all kinds of flavors here in the good ol' US of A!

We all miss Japan, mostly we miss the food and our amazing friends we made while there. I miss that life.  We hope to someday return, but for now the suburbs it is.  I will adjust in time.  I HOPE!  If not there are always medications to help me through.    I have learned a few things about myself in this latest move.  I HATE the mall.  Shopping is just not my thang.  Walmart is right up there with a root canal.  I have a feeling in no time my groceries will be delivered. Amazon.com is marvelous...

Writing is still something I do daily.  The ol' notebook/pen style.  I have started writing more seriously these days.  I don't want to delete my old blog, but blogging needs to happen...   One can only express so much on Facebook.  Today I spent some time reading about DOMA.  OMG!!  I found myself yelling at my computer.  Are people still really that full of hate?    Are we not past all this nonsense yet?

OK, so now we are all caught up with me.. How are you all?  What's new in your lives?