Some days it's just better to not read the news..

I mean REALLY  Is it a southern thing?

And, what is up with this? Politically Correct my Arse!

Maybe just one more for your light reading.., OK! Then...

Somewhere we have gone so far off track..   I find myself confused a lot these days.  What is our role as parents?  Where do I fit into my children's education?  Did I miss the memo that says we are not to steer out kids moral compass any longer?  

YIKES, a farm house in the middle of nowhere, off the grid is sounding better and better these days... 

Common Core, research, and FAT!

Common Core has one goal in life, to show me just how inept at math I truly am.  When my 2nd grader comes home with his math homework I find myself cringing just a bit.  All those blocks frighten me to be honest.   Do the creators of Common Core realize how hard math was for me to grasp the first time around?  Now they want me to learn an entirely new method.  I am just not sure this mama has it in her.

Sitting there counting on my fingers, trying to decipher the correct order the numbers should be "boxed".  I mean we are talking about 3 digit addition here folks.   This is not numbers, algorithms have no place here.   To the creators of CC I say,  I will not be defeated,  I have a secret weapon.. My teenage son.  He knows that funny math, and makes a great tutor..  A 10 spot goes a long way to a kid preparing for homecoming.

For those that are following the CC debate, eh, I followed it for a time and quickly realized it's way to political for an education program.  Do I really want my kids reading The Bluest Eye?  Not really, but then again the book is on a high school (junior, senior) level.  I remember reading  The Color Purple when I was in 7th grade.   I wonder how many teenage girls read 50 Shades?  What my children read, and are taught about their rights is something Ian and I as parents should be dealing with. As our children get older they will inevitably be subjected to opinions and people we don't necessarily agree with.  Who decided that children/young adults, can't have an open and honest discussion on hot topics (Miley Cyrus not included)?  Kids learn from those around them, their biggest influences should be their parents.  In a perfect world I guess..

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Let's talk research.  I, HATE. RESEARCH.  OK, discussion over.. ha ha..   Some days I find myself sitting down to research something and 2 minuets later the kids are returning home from school. Always hungry!  Anyone else notice that? What about school has my children running for the pantry like they spent their day in the Sahara and not the suburbs?  Research like anything I guess depends on the topic I am diving into.  School subjects seem to be very mundane, while writing topics will have me engrossed for hours.  Is there some portion of the brain that can tell the difference?

I am currently researching religion.  Oh, now there is a topic that will keep me busy for days.  Sadly I don't have days.  I am on a deadline, admittedly self imposed but I have come to realize if I don't set deadlines I end up way off course.  Perhaps there is some correlation there with my bad math skills?

I am really enjoying my research on religion.  Gaining an education of sorts, yet still confirming many of my past suspicions..  Religion for the most part seems to be man made, and dates back farther than I can even fathom.  Those people coming together to celebrate one idea, one belief system.  How religion was created, and for what reason is my endeavor for the day.  Hopefully it ends up helping me, at the very least I will be better educated.  And, that always makes for a good day...

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FAT~!  Yep, I put it all out there.  My bits and pieces are multiplying.  It would be very easy for me to blame my kids, Ian's job, or the fact that I live in the Tundra 9 months out of the year.  Alas, the blame days are over.  All me.  My fault.  Well and Culvers' butter burgers.  I could enjoy one daily, followed by a Starbucks Pumpkin anything and call my day fruitful.  My scale on the other hand is a mean ol' witch and has reminded me that I should probably find a better way to enjoy pumpkin...   The other day I read an interesting article about carrots, and sticks.  If you want your child to accomplish a goal, use a carrot (not a real one, probably more something like ice cream) but you get my point here.. My carrot will be in the form of a pumpkin latte from Starbucks.  For every 5 miles I run, I will treat myself to one.  Not really sure how that will clear up my bits and pieces, but if it will get my tubby butt back in the gym then I am all for it.   I have come to love my yoga pants and sofa a bit to much these past few weeks.  Not to mention shopping for an entire new wardrobe (as much as I loved Miley's skin colored bikini) is just not in the cards for me right now!


I know, I know not as hot topic as the past few posts, but in all honesty my life is very mundane.  Taxing my kids from here to there, cooking, laundry, writing (when I have a spare moment) and just living a very simple yet amazing life.   From time to time I will write something that hits a nerve.    I am almost positive there will be more of my opinions posted here, after all I have met myself a time or 2.  :)

Maybe I should end with a quote....

May You Live Everyday Of Your Life!!!! 

Oh, the feedback...

2 days ago I wrote this article YIKES!   My reasons for writing it were simple.   My sheer level of frustration the main culprit.  I went back to (fact check) and counted 7 posts in my feed where someone was tossing their spouses rank around.  Most from people I don't know personally.  But, FB is a public social media site.  How many other spouses were lucky enough to be subjected to that crap?  What does that say about our "community"? Some people eat, others run, I write.  It saves my sanity and my family from having to listen to my rants!  From time to time I actually get paid for my writings.. :)  Boy do I need the money, have you seen the price of tuxedos these days?  The teenager wants a white one for homecoming.  Oh, now there is a blog post waiting to be written..

 This AM I woke up shocked at how many people have read my rant. This is my "new" blog, and not as out there as my last.  Although I did post it openly on FB, maybe that helped.  Sadly I had to lock my old blog because well, it was written while we were stationed overseas, and I just didn't want my kids pictures out there.

  Just in the last couple of hours over 100 people have taken the time to enjoy my writings witness my obscene love for commas, and horrid sentence structure..  I have also received a bit of feedback via FB, and private message for my writings.  

For the most part the feedback was positive. Thank you grammar police for being so kind!  Some however have decided that I am a lofty navy spouse who sits on her soapbox and I must have a dysfunctional marriage.  Eh, I think my marriage is just fine.  Thanks for all the concern though.   Others have stated that they personally received calls from several Master Chief Wives and even the CMC welcoming them to the mess.   Yeah, yeah I got the same call.  We all attended the lunch, and sat through the spiel. I was criticized for the basic structure of my post.  Guilty on that one.  Again, this is my personal blog, I don't write in a specific format.  Hell most of the time I am happy all the words are spelled correctly.  It has been stated that I am part of the problem not part of the solution, and something or other about feeding bad eggs to handicapped birds.  Still working that one out.  To that I say BULLOCKS!  I said something that most people have thought about at one time or another.   I stepped on feelings, and damaged toes.   Sorry about all that..

I find it interesting that the only negative feedback I have received, came from Chief wives.  Each one calling a foul on my post by telling me what is wrong with me, and how I am feeding into a stereotype. Tearing down, rather than building up...   Oh, the irony of it all!  Perhaps I have struck a cord (or is it nerve). Probably a nerve as I have zero musical skills.  Singing in the shower not withstanding.   There is a belief within the military community that you "keep it in house", and I just put our shit all out there.  Doesn't make it any less true.

 I have been privileged to know so many spouses from all sides of the Navy.  I have gained a few good friends from our travels, and yes, even some people who think I am completely off my rocker.  Opening my mouth/giving my opinion when unnecessary.  GUILTY on all counts.  It's very easy to judge what I have written, and I even welcome it.  When it's all said and done if even ONE spouse stops and thinks about what they say and how they say it then I am happy to be "that wife on my soapbox, damaging the fabric of the Khaki community."   There is a time and place to say/show how you feel.  This absurd belief that we can't rock the boat, where did that come from?  Eh, kill the messenger is a saying for a reason I guess.  Good thing I have a thick skin.  At the rate I am not working out, getting thicker by the day..

  Being a Navy spouse is just one facet of who I am.  Closing myself off (as some wives have done) from the community all together is just not the route I choose to take.  I would miss out on making some amazing friends, and experiencing wonderful get togethers.   By the same token being "just" a Navy spouse is not who I am either.  Is my mix perfect? HELL NO!  I am in no way perfect, just ask my kids and husband.   Like most people I am just muddling through this life.  A very unique one that I am blessed each day to be a part of.   One where we have tasteless names for one another *dependaponamus" being one.   Where did all this hostility come from?  Has it always existed?  Maybe social media just feeds the beast, and allows things to spread at the speed of light!  Or, maybe to many of us are part of the social media pages that feed the beast.  Laughing at others, liking a page we should all be boycotting.  I for one am guilty of that..

This need to grab defensive as though it's a life preserver, instead of understanding one another.  Jumping in with the last word, or demanding to be right no matter the cost.  I recently read an article correlating a service members fitness to his spouses weight.  The tone was off kilter, and just wrong in my opinion.. However it flew around like wildfire, causing an uproar.  As of yet I have seen no one speak on the REAL reason we have so many overweight service members.   Because the military allows it.  You want to get rid of all the comments, photos and negativity surrounding fat service members (because we all know they exist) kick them out of the military!  Simple. Problem. Solved.  Sometimes it's easier to focus on the tone of the message and ignore the actual message.

So to all those who I have offended, maybe there is a reason you are so offended? I am merely one person who happens to know how to type on a computer.  A spouse who has been subjected to one to many lofty news feed posts.  One to many "do you know who my husband is?"  

Someone who is just not really afraid of being judged! So judge away.  Spend all day criticizing my marriage, my life, my shitty sentence structure.  Call me out on being a negative Nancy.  After all it's easier to dissect the messenger than maybe see a bit of yourself in the message :)

An open letter to the Chief Spouse community...

See what I did there, started it off all politically correct.  This should go swimmingly..

Sorry but it's just not fun anymore!

Yesterday marked the end of the season (I for one am thankful)..  There I was sitting down with my first cup of morning Java. I enjoyed it with a new Italian sweet cream.  You all should try it!  With Starbucks new coffee.  Oh so good..  But I digress..

Like most mornings I logged into FB, and the very first post in my feed was from a Navy spouse who happens to run a Chiefs spouse page, he/she was welcoming the new Chief spouses into the mess...  WHAT???  It took me a second to realize what I was seeing.   I even checked the page to be sure I hadn't somehow stumbled onto a REAL Chiefs page..  I reread the post thinking maybe she/he was welcoming the spouses into the Chiefs community. (Although I am still stumped on that one as well)  Nope, it was a spouse page, and said spouse was welcoming other spouses into the mess.  Like the real one.  You know the one the service members go to daily for work.  Yep that one!  I just shook my head and moved on about my day..

As the day progressed I began to notice a trend.  Spouses welcoming so and so into the mess.  Congratulating this person or that on their promotion.  But, here is the thing not a single person being welcomed or congratulated is actually serving their country. Sorry, being married to someone in the Military doesn't mean we serve.  Put all the bumper stickers on your car you want, but unless/until you sign an actual contract, complete boot camp and take a set of orders you are NOT in the military!  No waking up at 4 am to be at work, spending months sleeping in a tiny rack, or running the PRT.  NOPE!

 I would have to think back, but I don't seem to recall Ian needing my help to take the Chiefs test.  Just like I was not there when he took the test for E-4, 5 or 6.  I was slowly becoming more and more frustrated.  Why, you ask?  Well, pull up a chair because I am going to tell you, or if you are one of the people this letter is written to click the back button now and commence the shit talking :)

I do not love my husband any more now then I did before he was a Chief. There seems to be this misconception that being a Chiefs spouse somehow gives one status.   Um, let me see.  NOPE!  I was even given a nice little handbook to read at the meet and greet.  (in all honesty I had never seen the handbook until about 6 weeks ago, didn't even know it existed)  ha ha ha!  Personally I think that handbook should be given to ALL new Navy spouses.  Take Chief off the cover and just title it Navy Spouse!  The day you get married to someone in the military you should be given 2 things.  A sign that reads "everything in the Navy is written in Jello", and a Navy Spouse handbook.  The one I read  is chalked full of resources that ALL Navy spouses should be aware of.

Who I am as a wife/mother/(fill in the blank with career, as this seems to change with each duty station) is not undervalued because my husband is Navy.  Who I am is no less important that who he is.  What he does for his career does not equate to me being below him.  And, in some cases what I do to help his career.. Preparing the subpar meals, (some of you all know I can operate a rice cooker and boil pasta with the best of them) and keeping our sock basket full so he can root around at 5 am looking for a matching pair is important.    Yes, he makes more money that I do.  Yes, his career will always have to come first.  That is just the way the cookie crumbled for us.   But, see here is the thing, it was the same when he was an E-6, E-5.. you get my drift.  Who we are as a married couple and family is the exact same today as it was the day Ian enlisted. With the exception of more little minions running our lives, oh and less money (blame said minions) ....

This inherent need to wear a rank not bestowed to you is making things much worse for moral.   I get pride!  The day Ian was pinned Chief my chest swelled with pride for him.  Walking out with my man in his Khakis was an amazing feeling. (not to mention Ian can rock a set of Khakis)   You see Ian had worked so hard for his career.  Missed so many milestones in our lives.  Celebrated one to many birthdays and anniversaries with a phone call (if we were lucky)   Chief was his goal.  A benchmark of sorts.   All his hard work and dedication had paid off. He earned it, and I could not have been happier!  And, PLEASE don't give me that, we sacrifice crap..  We as Chief spouses don't sacrifice anymore than any other spouse.  If anything we should know and understand how trying being married to someone in the Navy can be.    

Is military life different YES! I would even go so far as to say more stressful than a regular job/career.  But, it is stressful from DAY 1, no matter the rank.  Officer, enlisted, chief, or petty officer.  As spouses we all have the same issues.  Same worries.  We all have our days where bed time can't come fast enough, and making that pay check stretch an extra week keeps us up at night.  Every single one of us has paced the floor at 2am praying that they are safe.  Quietly asking for the strength to just get through one more deployment.  Swearing that this is the LAST ONE!  He will just get out, retire, and work at Home Depot.  OK, well maybe not all of us, but most.

This us/them mentality is being perpetuated more and more in the Navy community by those spouses who should know better!   I for one am sick to death of it.  Pad your own resume, and stop walking around with your spouses taped to your chest.  All it's doing, really.. all it's doing is driving away the diversity that keeps the Navy community so unique and fun.  More and more spouses are puling away from the community.  Keeping themselves apart all together.  Just take a minuet to join your local FB page,  Notice how many spouses are on the page, then notice how many actually post on said page.  It tends to be the same ones over and over.. Posting in the same tone.  I would venture to guess most are the same base to base..(save a select few)   We are loosing so much of the good that existed back when Ian was an E-4, 5.  I was blessed to know so many wives of all different ranks.  We would sit in the Piazza while the kids played and wait for our guys who all worked so hard.    Each one with our own story, our own unique spin on life.  And it was FUN!  Hanging out at the Holiday (see dad my diversity is still kicking) dancing, drinking, and just letting go off all the mundane things Navy life throws at us.  Helping one another out with childcare because if we don't get just 2 hours of quiet time we are going off the first bridge we see.  Relying on one another for a cup of milk, or shot of vodka. Depending on the day.   Planning home coming and half way parties.  Getting a group of gals together at someones house the night before to trade deployment stories and manicures.  Gathering on the Pier and watching with pride as our Sailors came HOME!  Knowing deep down the cycle would start all over again.  But, knowing that no matter what you had your support system.


So, the next time you meet a spouse either in real life or via a FB page, take a moment and introduce YOU to them.. Chances are we all have a lot more in common then we think.. :)