This AM I woke up shocked at how many people have read my rant. This is my "new" blog, and not as out there as my last. Although I did post it openly on FB, maybe that helped. Sadly I had to lock my old blog because well, it was written while we were stationed overseas, and I just didn't want my kids pictures out there.
Just in the last couple of hours over 100 people have taken the time to
For the most part the feedback was positive. Thank you grammar police for being so kind! Some however have decided that I am a lofty navy spouse who sits on her soapbox and I must have a dysfunctional marriage. Eh, I think my marriage is just fine. Thanks for all the concern though. Others have stated that they personally received calls from several Master Chief Wives and even the CMC welcoming them to the mess. Yeah, yeah I got the same call. We all attended the lunch, and sat through the spiel. I was criticized for the basic structure of my post. Guilty on that one. Again, this is my personal blog, I don't write in a specific format. Hell most of the time I am happy all the words are spelled correctly. It has been stated that I am part of the problem not part of the solution, and something or other about feeding bad eggs to handicapped birds. Still working that one out. To that I say BULLOCKS! I said something that most people have thought about at one time or another. I stepped on feelings, and damaged toes. Sorry about all that..
I find it interesting that the only negative feedback I have received, came from Chief wives. Each one calling a foul on my post by telling me what is wrong with me, and how I am feeding into a stereotype. Tearing down, rather than building up... Oh, the irony of it all! Perhaps I have struck a cord (or is it nerve). Probably a nerve as I have zero musical skills. Singing in the shower not withstanding. There is a belief within the military community that you "keep it in house", and I just put our shit all out there. Doesn't make it any less true.
I have been privileged to know so many spouses from all sides of the Navy. I have gained a few good friends from our travels, and yes, even some people who think I am completely off my rocker. Opening my mouth/giving my opinion when unnecessary. GUILTY on all counts. It's very easy to judge what I have written, and I even welcome it. When it's all said and done if even ONE spouse stops and thinks about what they say and how they say it then I am happy to be "that wife on my soapbox, damaging the fabric of the Khaki community." There is a time and place to say/show how you feel. This absurd belief that we can't rock the boat, where did that come from? Eh, kill the messenger is a saying for a reason I guess. Good thing I have a thick skin. At the rate I am not working out, getting thicker by the day..
Being a Navy spouse is just one facet of who I am. Closing myself off (as some wives have done) from the community all together is just not the route I choose to take. I would miss out on making some amazing friends, and experiencing wonderful get togethers. By the same token being "just" a Navy spouse is not who I am either. Is my mix perfect? HELL NO! I am in no way perfect, just ask my kids and husband. Like most people I am just muddling through this life. A very unique one that I am blessed each day to be a part of. One where we have tasteless names for one another *dependaponamus" being one. Where did all this hostility come from? Has it always existed? Maybe social media just feeds the beast, and allows things to spread at the speed of light! Or, maybe to many of us are part of the social media pages that feed the beast. Laughing at others, liking a page we should all be boycotting. I for one am guilty of that..
This need to grab defensive as though it's a life preserver, instead of understanding one another. Jumping in with the last word, or demanding to be right no matter the cost. I recently read an article correlating a service members fitness to his spouses weight. The tone was off kilter, and just wrong in my opinion.. However it flew around like wildfire, causing an uproar. As of yet I have seen no one speak on the REAL reason we have so many overweight service members. Because the military allows it. You want to get rid of all the comments, photos and negativity surrounding fat service members (because we all know they exist) kick them out of the military! Simple. Problem. Solved. Sometimes it's easier to focus on the tone of the message and ignore the actual message.
So to all those who I have offended, maybe there is a reason you are so offended? I am merely one person who happens to know how to type on a computer. A spouse who has been subjected to one to many lofty news feed posts. One to many "do you know who my husband is?"
Someone who is just not really afraid of being judged! So judge away. Spend all day criticizing my marriage, my life, my shitty sentence structure. Call me out on being a negative Nancy. After all it's easier to dissect the messenger than maybe see a bit of yourself in the message :)
Wait, you're feeding a stereotype? They aren't feeding the one I learned about from Husband #1, which is "I can't believe some of those wives expected me to salute them when I worked the gate, just because they were driving their husband's car. They're obviously clueless about how the military works".
ReplyDeleteYes, my ex-husband was Security Forces and, yes, there were wives who bitched him out for not saluting them because they had their husband's car, with their husband's sticker and rank on it.
Meanwhile, hubby #2 had the same reaction to such antics on the parts of wives.
Oddly enough, all our friends who are MALE spouses of servicemembers never seemed to have that ego issue. Go figure.
There's a reason most of my friends were not military spouses whenever we PCSed, by the way - that damn mentality of which you wrote in the previous post!
I don't think you were negative at all. You and I share the same perspective. I feel that a huge segment of the military spouse subculture is toxic, cliquish, and juvenile. You choose not to drink the Kool-Aid. People are going to immediately try to make you feel bad for that.
They did the same thing to me in Korea when I shared my honest opinion about things. It's a conspiracy, I tell you. ;)
But, seriously, I laughed it off and went on with my life. The infamy I enjoyed from it made great fodder for mockery among my friends.
I do hope one person does look at your post and realize that, yes, they are acting like a Dependa, and that it's insufferable.
I thought both of your posts were interesting. I disagree that "The Mess" is strictly somewhere they go at work. I personally view it as a "brotherhood" or "sisterhood" - basically a family. In a way yes, you can "marry into" this family. I was welcomed by the CMC, other Chiefs and their spouses.
ReplyDeleteThey view it as a big family and yes, as my husband earned his entry I was given mine as his spouse. So I get it - I understand where you are coming from. I just view it differently.
Aaaaand no - your use of comas and ... don't offend me - neither does your viewpoint on this or the previous post.