As a mother I feel like one of my more important jobs is to teach my kids life lessons.. In between the sticky hands, PB&J's, and Twinkle-Twinkle, I am entrusted to grow these little people. I choose to not live by Do As I Say, Not As I Do, and employ a more teach, show, method.
Most of these lessons are benign, and my kids never even realize they are "learning". When I taught my kids to read I used songs and coloring. Little did they know they were exercising those amazingly big brains they were born with. They get them from their father. They were just having fun, and for children a lot of life should just be simple, plain fun. The hard stuff will come later. The stuff that makes you wonder what the hell is wrong with society? Were these people raised by wolves? Did their mothers eat their young? You know the WOW moments.
Sadly though our kids can not remain little, and they will (not matter how hard we try) grow up. Making sure they are empowered to handle the big bad world can sometimes be rough. I thought I had it down. A core understanding of how I would teach the "big" lessons. What I would say about sex, drugs, or rock and roll.. Yeah, that last one they are screwed. We love some good ol' school Rock.
I have practiced what I would say to them, and now having a 16 year old, I have just about perfected my best lecture voice on more than one occasion. You see I grew up with all of it. The drinking underage, drugs, and yes even sex. Not, that I did any of it mind you, but hey I had friends..
There were even times I snuck those handy dandy pamphlets they put up in Dr. offices. Slipping them in my bag when no one was looking. Because let's be honest, we all want more information.. We just don't want to admit we take those silly pamphlets.. So, there I was in all my preparedness when a new issue reared it's ugly little head. Social Media. FB, Cell phones, Myspace (wait does anyone still use that), and yep, even blogs. Here in lies a new MASSIVE issue that I must talk to my kids about. Sit them down, and try to help them navigate what at times can best be described as a run away train.. As an adult (a fairly well educated, if you don't count spelling and punctuation) I honestly have very little idea how to help my children survive such a minefield.
True social media can be a beautiful place. When children are found and returned home. The idiot who broke into a home and beat a woman in front of her kids was caught due to social media. I think I read somewhere the other day that 35% of marriages are due to social websites. That is a great number for all the divorce lawyers out there..
More often than not social media has become a place to bully. Little (I mean tiny) people sitting behind a computer screen typing away because they can! Spending their days trying to make others feel as inadequate as they feel. And, really what is 1 persons opinion? You see the problem is it doesn't stay 1 persons opinion for very long. Bullies tend to breed tag-a-longs. Other little people that want to jump on any and every bandwagon they can. Honestly I think these people are worse then the actual bully. Not only are they small minded but they lack the ability to think for themselves! Putting those 2 together make for a very scary cocktail of dysfunction.
The only answer I can come up with is to stand up. To say something. Really those that know me in real life understand this is just me! Here is what happens when people stand up thought.. They are told, It's none of your business. Or asked why they care? The bully and their little minions try and turn the issue. Make it seems as if those who take a stand are the ones in the wrong. OK! SO! It's not my issue, so why should I care? Why should I get involved? Why should I say anything at all? Is it really worth it? YES! We should. Because here is the crux of it. These people who are all over social media acting like bullies are also raising children. Children that my children will have to survive with, in a world I seem to understand less and less. A world where a thick skin is as necessary as sun screen. Gone are the good ol' days of school yard bullying. Say hello to all out WAR! Where words are used as weapons, and incessant harassment seem to be social acceptable.
For better or worse I am not just a mother.. I am also a wife. It just so happens that I married a man in the military. Those damn Dress Whites will get you every time.. Another symptom of this nonstop cyber bullying seems to be a corroding of the military core values. How does a service member handle such a demanding job when their spouse is busy spreading hate via the Internet. This issue has become so big throughout the military community, the powers that be are searching for a way to handle it. How many base legal offices are clogged with unnecessary work because of Internet sites and pages. This morning I was reading on a closed site for military wives about this very issue. How to handle it? Once upon a time the military leaders could say "handle your wife/husband". Those days are no longer. Sadly, I think they should be returned. AND FAST! One small example: At one duty station, a Full Bird Captain had to take time out of his day to have a meeting with wives about sidewalk chalk. I wonder if ever in his career this man thought he would be commanding a billion dollar war ship one day... And, handling sidewalk chalk the next? ha ha!
I witnessed something like this today, (It had NOTHING at all to do with me) I don't know the people personally involved. Our lives are in no way intertwined. But, as I sat there reading the screen my blood began to boil. My heart went out to the wife and mother who was being ganged up on. A gang of people who like me don't know this person. using words to demand answers to questions they had NO right to ask! They read a few lines posted by an angry wife and the train went off the tracks. Thankfully I was not the only voice of reason, but the deck sure seemed stacked against this gal. When it was all said and done there I sat just staring at the screen, saying a silent prayer. Really this is where we have come? This is the life I am raising my children in? Compassion, understanding, lifting one another up, support, and love are no longer the norm.. How do I teach my children that? How do I keep from raising them to think everyone is bent? The only answer I can come up with is to STAND UP! Show compassion, understanding, lift those around me up, support others, and show love. That is how! The same way I teach every other lesson... You see, Actions really do speak louder than words!! Even in the days of Social Media...
