Can We Please Stop Hijacking Military Kids!!!!

Most morning after the bigs and Ian head out the door I have a few minuets to enjoy coffee and quiet.  This morning I was taking to a friend who mentioned a letter being passed around FaceBook.  Her sister sent it to her, she in turn sent it to me.  

She explained it was about investigating military families, being able to enter our homes at will, forcing military home school kids to attend public school. Basically removing the rights of military families in Missouri.  I was shocked and asked her to send me a copy of the letter.  A bit later she posted the letter on FaceBook and there I sat confused. 

  I have seen that form, filled it out for my own children.  Several times in fact.  And YEARS before Common Core, Data Mining, Obamacare or profiling were ever buzz words.  Let me state here and now I have serious concerns with Common Core.  I have a BIGGER issue when people or organizations use the military or military children to fuel their agenda.  

I am posting screen shots of the form, and the subsequent conversation between myself and the page owner.   

This is the form.  This form is NOT used to data mine, help CPS and has nothing to do with Obamacare as the page owner goes on to state.  Using the page owners own list here is what he/she claims this form helps CPS and the state of Missouri do. 

1. determine if parents are under 21

2. do any family members smoke. 

3. Families with students who are low achievers. 

4. Families with military members.   

According to the page owner this form is sent along with a survey to military families.  Curiously the survey was NOT posted.    

He/she also went onto to attach articles from political groups *I will NOT link those groups here* supporting her/his agenda.  Somehow managing to tie this form to Ombamcare.  The page owner crafted a message devoid of actual facts and posted it on his/her site to instill fear help educate military families.  Asking them not to fill out this form.  Claiming to do so would be to give up their rights.   

NOW FOR SOME TRUTH and FACTS! 

 This form is so a local school with a dense military/federally employed population can access much needed Impact Aid.  here is a link on Impact Aid  * Impact Aid *  In a nut shell, Impact Aid has been around since the 50's.  It is federal funding paid to schools with a dense military population to help offset the cost burden.  Areas with a high percentage of military kids often do not receive local tax revenue therefore Impact Aid is granted.  To qualify a school must meet specific requirements.  This form helps schools to do that. 

PLEASE if your child brings home this form fill it out!   We all know schools with a high military population are almost always in an area where that funding is needed desperately.  

I attempted to explain what the form was/is used for and the page owner continued to push his/her agenda. 

Notice how my comment was removed (hence the grey) so that people can not read and actually understand what Impact Aid is.   

 

This page owner also went onto delete my comment asking if he/she is in any way tied to the military?  

I don't normally get into back and forth discussions on social media.  Most of the time it is pointless to try and argue a point with a virtual stranger.  I also really don't care what people say, do, or think most of the time enough to comment.  In this instance WE ALL MUST Speak up!   

I have a message for the Missouri Moms Against Common Core..

DO NOT use our children to further your agenda.  

Our children are NOT tools, they are not a number and they are not a BUZZ word for your platform.  You want to fight Common Core then gather actual facts.  

I get it.  Military kids seem to be all the rage these days.  What with all the studies to determine if they are well adjusted?  If moving so often helps or hinders them?  What about deployed parents and how they bond with their kids?  Stress of war time deployments? Changing schools so often.. and on and on.  

One group after another has hopped on our military kids backs to ride out their cause or further their agenda/name.  Least we all forget not to long ago a group wanted to ban military kids from being called Military Brats.  Right now military kids are the new shinny cause.  Well I am TIRED!  It is ENOUGH!  

You want to help military children and their families then roll up your sleeves, find a Wounded Warrior organization *Wounded Warrior Volunteer project* or a Gold Star Kids *Gold Star Kids.

There are so many great ways to get involved to support military kids where they need it!  

Just PLEASE stop using our kids for your political agenda.

   

50 Shades of Superiority..

Unless you live under a rock (not knocking it, could be fun for some) you have no doubt been inundated with blog posts, meme's and Facebook posts about 50 Shades of Grey.  Some are funny, others poke fun at the actors picked to play the role of Christian Grey, and what's her name..  He seems a bit Doogie Howser to me, and she has a famous mother so I'm thinking there was some nepotism involved in this one.  A few are people claiming to hold PHD's telling us all the ways 50 shades will destroy our marriages, cause our daughters to seek abusive men, and turn our sons into violent monsters.  Perhaps I missed something but Home Depot hasn't reported a sharp upturn in the sale of red paint.  Still others profess to know that 50 Shades is a sin, and we who read/watch are adulterers and sinners destined to destroy our marriages.  Claiming that we can't possibly know and understand the difference between a fictional character and sex with our partners.   Claims of week willed women who have no business thinking about sex much less reading a book or watching a movie.  Mommy Porn I have heard it called.  As if every female to read the books has a brood of children and a husband who can't look at a woman in leggings without getting a hard on!

I confess I have read the books.  All 3 of them.  Written by a British author, who was trying to write from an American woman standpoint.  She didn't really pull it off, you take the sex out and you are left with crappy writing.  Will I see the movie?  Yes, I will.  Surely I am not the only one to grow up and wonder what an adult sex craved Doogie Howser would be like?  Moreover I am not a hypocrite.

The basis of so many articles I have read stem from what God would think?  Quoting the bible and asking what would Jesus do?  Would he spend $12 to go see a crapy movie? While I think he would have a lot to say about the cost of a ticket these days I doubt he would wax poetic about a movie like 50 shades.

Now now before you lambaste me lets us look at his very own teachings on the matter.....

Genesis 19:6

6 So Lot went out to them through the doorway, shut the door behind him, 7 and said, “Please, my brethren, do not do so wickedly! 8 See now, I have two daughters who have not known a man; please, let me bring them out to you, and you may do to them as you wish; only do nothing to these men, since this is the reason they have come under the shadow of my roof.”

Genesis 20:1

20 And Abraham journeyed from there to the South, and dwelt between Kadesh and Shur, and stayed in Gerar. 2 Now Abraham said of Sarah his wife, “She is my sister.” And Abimelech king of Gerar sent and took Sarah.

Exodus 20:17

17 “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s.”

Exodus 21:7-11

7 “And if a man sells his daughter to be a female slave, she shall not go out as the male slaves do. 8 If she does not please her master, who has betrothed her to himself, then he shall let her be redeemed. He shall have no right to sell her to a foreign people, since he has dealt deceitfully with her. 9 And if he has betrothed her to his son, he shall deal with her according to the custom of daughters. 10 If he takes another wife, he shall not diminish her food, her clothing, and her marriage rights. 11 And if he does not do these three for her, then she shall go out free, without paying money.

Judges 16:1

16 Now Samson went to Gaza and saw a harlot there, and went in to her. 2 When the Gazites were told, “Samson has come here!” they surrounded the place and lay in wait for him all night at the gate of the city. They were quiet all night, saying, “In the morning, when it is daylight, we will kill him.

Matthew 5:31

31 “Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality[e] causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.

Ephesians 5:22

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

1 Peter 2:18

18 Servants, be submissive to your masters with all fear, not only to the good and gentle, but also to the harsh. 19 For this is commendable, if because of conscience toward God one endures grief, suffering wrongfully. 20 For what credit is it if, when you are beaten for your faults, you take it patiently? But when you do good and suffer, if you take it patiently, this is commendable before God. 21 For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us,[f] leaving us[g] an example, that you should follow His steps:

1 Peter 3

3 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 3 Do not let your adornment be merelyoutward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.

Never one to not cite my sources this is all from the "New King James Version" Bible! Both Old and New Testament.  I know, I know some will say, I didn't use the correct bible.  Here is the thing, the bible was written by MEN, long ago and NOT originally in the English language.  Over time it has been translated and written in many varying forms.  The gist of it is still the same.  If you find yourself shaking your head at this point then close this page because you are NOT who I am writing this for.  

For the sake of argument let's assume that all these passages are from the Bible.  OK, good..  What do ALL of these passages have in common with a book like 50 shades?  *GASP* how dare I compare a sacred book such as the bible to smut like 50 shades.  Remember the Bible was written by MAN!  Commandments 7 and 8 come to mind right about now!  

The passages you read from the bible talk about slavery, treating women as property, submissiveness, and harlots (a more delicate term for prostitute).   It's all there in black and white.  All there for our children to read, and for our church leaders to gloss over or try to explain what the passages really mean.  

I have zero intention of interpreting the bible.

We have come to a place in society where church leaders, and lay people who claim religious superiority try and explain what is and is not acceptable for us to read, watch, or talk about.  They want to "educate" the masses on God and his plan for our lives.  Guilt and shamming are their weapons of choice.  For if I say Yes, I read the books.  Yes, I will go see the movie, I am shamed into feeling as if I have committed a sin.   I am told my marriage will suffer.  My marriage bed must be lacking.  I must be seeking some greater purpose than simply watching a story play out.   I am a SINNER and should be branded with a scarlet letter...  Yet these same people refuse to talk about these passages and others (Leviticus comes to mind, but that's another blog post for another time)...

Now, for the hook...all great stories have a hook according to my friend Wendy.  She is a wonderful author so I will take her at her word.


NONE of this is really about 50 shades.  NONE.. NOT ONE BIT.. It's not really about Christian and what's her name.  It can't be.  You see what all these people who continue to tell me I am screwing up my walk with God, or defiling my marriage by reading/watching 50 Shades have in common is... NONE of them have ever read it.  NOT ONE!!  They freely admit they haven't read the books.

Because it's really not about God anymore than it's about 50 shades.   It never was.  Over and over we read about a "war" on Christianity.  While that may be true in some countries where people are burned alive for professing their absolute faith in Christ, that is not the case where I live.  We are free to worship openly.  Free to pray while we are out and about with our families.  Free to praise him in the middle of Walmart if we so choose.  Free to thank him openly in public for his blessings on our lives. Yes, I know there are those claiming persecution but it's just not so..  The only war on christians is coming from those claiming to be christians..

So what is it really about it?  What would scores of people who have never read a book have to gain by telling you and I we are sinners and adulterers if we read it?  After all they are christians right?  Reading Matt Walsh over their tea.. They love their brothers and sister?  They only want what is best for our souls?

We have a new symptom growing among Christians.   Superiority.....  You see, people come to God.  They fall down on their knees and pray for forgiveness and mercy. They ask God to help them, fix their lives, cure whatever is wrong in their marriage, or with their kids.  They beg and plead with him to heal their wounds and show them the light and peace.  Then they go home and sit and wait.  Falling right back into the mundane tasks that everyday life brings.  Cooking, cleaning, working, raising children and getting up the next day to do it all over again.  Waiting for the day their lives are perfect, and their husbands stop straying, or their children begin to listen.  They employ the ol' fake it till you make it adage, and wait...  Attending church, singing all the songs, and regurgitating the right words.   Waiting for the day they feel whole and complete. Filled to the brim with happiness. They seemingly skip over the part that says God helps those who help themselves. No responsibility is ever taken for how they reached the place they now find themselves.  No battle plan is formed to make a better life, improve their education, or relationships with others. Of course there are a few who prey on the week around them and find a modicum of stardom (Math Walsh comes to mind) The rest   jump right into I am healed and all I have to do is go out and witness and spread his word. For God will be my happiness, absolving themselves of any responsibility in the matter. Taking no ownership of their lives.  Then those people who took no time to work on their relationship with Christ or fix what they deem broken,  fan out in masses to judge and smite the rest of us.  Tell us we are sinners, and spend hours of their days crafting mems' and blog posts about how if we just submit to our husbands and stop wearing leggings we will finally have peace.  Training up their children (oh how that word grates on my never) to do the same.  

I for one am sick of it.  Tired of Christianity being hijacked by politicians, church leaders, and lay people with unfettered internet access.  

Maybe it's time that we as a people admit that the Bible has some horrible things written in it.  It was written long ago in a very different time. Maybe it's time that we decide to Love Thy Neighbor.  Try NOT judging the person next to you.  Try writing a blog post or meme' about friendship and love.  Try tending to the weeds in our own gardens instead of counting those in our neighbors.  Try really teaching our children about unconditional love.  Really listening to those who may not agree with us, and finding common ground.

My family had a pastor years ago in Japan and I was blessed by his words... He told me that we are all human, we are all broken in some way.  We ALL deserve happiness, but to achieve true happiness we have to admit we are broken, stare at our cracks in the mirror and love them.  We have to accept our lives or change them.  It is up to us to determine our happiness and those of our children. WE have to do it.  Yes, for me Christ plays a role in my family.  He is interwoven into my soul.  I often find myself talking to him throughout the day, as if he is sitting in my kitchen drinking coffee with me.  The work has to come from me.  God is not a bandaid, and he is not a weapon to be taken out and thrown in other peoples faces.  Professing to love God does NOT grant you the authority to spread your misery and hate.  For surely using his name to do so is a SIN!





*I am sure I will be judged for my grammar, spelling and stark lack of punctuation.. I know Wendy is reading this and correcting my errors..  Someday I will take a class, someday Wendy! * 

Some days it's just better to not read the news..

I mean REALLY  Is it a southern thing?

And, what is up with this? Politically Correct my Arse!

Maybe just one more for your light reading.., OK! Then...

Somewhere we have gone so far off track..   I find myself confused a lot these days.  What is our role as parents?  Where do I fit into my children's education?  Did I miss the memo that says we are not to steer out kids moral compass any longer?  

YIKES, a farm house in the middle of nowhere, off the grid is sounding better and better these days... 

Common Core, research, and FAT!

Common Core has one goal in life, to show me just how inept at math I truly am.  When my 2nd grader comes home with his math homework I find myself cringing just a bit.  All those blocks frighten me to be honest.   Do the creators of Common Core realize how hard math was for me to grasp the first time around?  Now they want me to learn an entirely new method.  I am just not sure this mama has it in her.

Sitting there counting on my fingers, trying to decipher the correct order the numbers should be "boxed".  I mean we are talking about 3 digit addition here folks.   This is not numbers, algorithms have no place here.   To the creators of CC I say,  I will not be defeated,  I have a secret weapon.. My teenage son.  He knows that funny math, and makes a great tutor..  A 10 spot goes a long way to a kid preparing for homecoming.

For those that are following the CC debate, eh, I followed it for a time and quickly realized it's way to political for an education program.  Do I really want my kids reading The Bluest Eye?  Not really, but then again the book is on a high school (junior, senior) level.  I remember reading  The Color Purple when I was in 7th grade.   I wonder how many teenage girls read 50 Shades?  What my children read, and are taught about their rights is something Ian and I as parents should be dealing with. As our children get older they will inevitably be subjected to opinions and people we don't necessarily agree with.  Who decided that children/young adults, can't have an open and honest discussion on hot topics (Miley Cyrus not included)?  Kids learn from those around them, their biggest influences should be their parents.  In a perfect world I guess..

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Let's talk research.  I, HATE. RESEARCH.  OK, discussion over.. ha ha..   Some days I find myself sitting down to research something and 2 minuets later the kids are returning home from school. Always hungry!  Anyone else notice that? What about school has my children running for the pantry like they spent their day in the Sahara and not the suburbs?  Research like anything I guess depends on the topic I am diving into.  School subjects seem to be very mundane, while writing topics will have me engrossed for hours.  Is there some portion of the brain that can tell the difference?

I am currently researching religion.  Oh, now there is a topic that will keep me busy for days.  Sadly I don't have days.  I am on a deadline, admittedly self imposed but I have come to realize if I don't set deadlines I end up way off course.  Perhaps there is some correlation there with my bad math skills?

I am really enjoying my research on religion.  Gaining an education of sorts, yet still confirming many of my past suspicions..  Religion for the most part seems to be man made, and dates back farther than I can even fathom.  Those people coming together to celebrate one idea, one belief system.  How religion was created, and for what reason is my endeavor for the day.  Hopefully it ends up helping me, at the very least I will be better educated.  And, that always makes for a good day...

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FAT~!  Yep, I put it all out there.  My bits and pieces are multiplying.  It would be very easy for me to blame my kids, Ian's job, or the fact that I live in the Tundra 9 months out of the year.  Alas, the blame days are over.  All me.  My fault.  Well and Culvers' butter burgers.  I could enjoy one daily, followed by a Starbucks Pumpkin anything and call my day fruitful.  My scale on the other hand is a mean ol' witch and has reminded me that I should probably find a better way to enjoy pumpkin...   The other day I read an interesting article about carrots, and sticks.  If you want your child to accomplish a goal, use a carrot (not a real one, probably more something like ice cream) but you get my point here.. My carrot will be in the form of a pumpkin latte from Starbucks.  For every 5 miles I run, I will treat myself to one.  Not really sure how that will clear up my bits and pieces, but if it will get my tubby butt back in the gym then I am all for it.   I have come to love my yoga pants and sofa a bit to much these past few weeks.  Not to mention shopping for an entire new wardrobe (as much as I loved Miley's skin colored bikini) is just not in the cards for me right now!


I know, I know not as hot topic as the past few posts, but in all honesty my life is very mundane.  Taxing my kids from here to there, cooking, laundry, writing (when I have a spare moment) and just living a very simple yet amazing life.   From time to time I will write something that hits a nerve.    I am almost positive there will be more of my opinions posted here, after all I have met myself a time or 2.  :)

Maybe I should end with a quote....

May You Live Everyday Of Your Life!!!! 

Oh, the feedback...

2 days ago I wrote this article YIKES!   My reasons for writing it were simple.   My sheer level of frustration the main culprit.  I went back to (fact check) and counted 7 posts in my feed where someone was tossing their spouses rank around.  Most from people I don't know personally.  But, FB is a public social media site.  How many other spouses were lucky enough to be subjected to that crap?  What does that say about our "community"? Some people eat, others run, I write.  It saves my sanity and my family from having to listen to my rants!  From time to time I actually get paid for my writings.. :)  Boy do I need the money, have you seen the price of tuxedos these days?  The teenager wants a white one for homecoming.  Oh, now there is a blog post waiting to be written..

 This AM I woke up shocked at how many people have read my rant. This is my "new" blog, and not as out there as my last.  Although I did post it openly on FB, maybe that helped.  Sadly I had to lock my old blog because well, it was written while we were stationed overseas, and I just didn't want my kids pictures out there.

  Just in the last couple of hours over 100 people have taken the time to enjoy my writings witness my obscene love for commas, and horrid sentence structure..  I have also received a bit of feedback via FB, and private message for my writings.  

For the most part the feedback was positive. Thank you grammar police for being so kind!  Some however have decided that I am a lofty navy spouse who sits on her soapbox and I must have a dysfunctional marriage.  Eh, I think my marriage is just fine.  Thanks for all the concern though.   Others have stated that they personally received calls from several Master Chief Wives and even the CMC welcoming them to the mess.   Yeah, yeah I got the same call.  We all attended the lunch, and sat through the spiel. I was criticized for the basic structure of my post.  Guilty on that one.  Again, this is my personal blog, I don't write in a specific format.  Hell most of the time I am happy all the words are spelled correctly.  It has been stated that I am part of the problem not part of the solution, and something or other about feeding bad eggs to handicapped birds.  Still working that one out.  To that I say BULLOCKS!  I said something that most people have thought about at one time or another.   I stepped on feelings, and damaged toes.   Sorry about all that..

I find it interesting that the only negative feedback I have received, came from Chief wives.  Each one calling a foul on my post by telling me what is wrong with me, and how I am feeding into a stereotype. Tearing down, rather than building up...   Oh, the irony of it all!  Perhaps I have struck a cord (or is it nerve). Probably a nerve as I have zero musical skills.  Singing in the shower not withstanding.   There is a belief within the military community that you "keep it in house", and I just put our shit all out there.  Doesn't make it any less true.

 I have been privileged to know so many spouses from all sides of the Navy.  I have gained a few good friends from our travels, and yes, even some people who think I am completely off my rocker.  Opening my mouth/giving my opinion when unnecessary.  GUILTY on all counts.  It's very easy to judge what I have written, and I even welcome it.  When it's all said and done if even ONE spouse stops and thinks about what they say and how they say it then I am happy to be "that wife on my soapbox, damaging the fabric of the Khaki community."   There is a time and place to say/show how you feel.  This absurd belief that we can't rock the boat, where did that come from?  Eh, kill the messenger is a saying for a reason I guess.  Good thing I have a thick skin.  At the rate I am not working out, getting thicker by the day..

  Being a Navy spouse is just one facet of who I am.  Closing myself off (as some wives have done) from the community all together is just not the route I choose to take.  I would miss out on making some amazing friends, and experiencing wonderful get togethers.   By the same token being "just" a Navy spouse is not who I am either.  Is my mix perfect? HELL NO!  I am in no way perfect, just ask my kids and husband.   Like most people I am just muddling through this life.  A very unique one that I am blessed each day to be a part of.   One where we have tasteless names for one another *dependaponamus" being one.   Where did all this hostility come from?  Has it always existed?  Maybe social media just feeds the beast, and allows things to spread at the speed of light!  Or, maybe to many of us are part of the social media pages that feed the beast.  Laughing at others, liking a page we should all be boycotting.  I for one am guilty of that..

This need to grab defensive as though it's a life preserver, instead of understanding one another.  Jumping in with the last word, or demanding to be right no matter the cost.  I recently read an article correlating a service members fitness to his spouses weight.  The tone was off kilter, and just wrong in my opinion.. However it flew around like wildfire, causing an uproar.  As of yet I have seen no one speak on the REAL reason we have so many overweight service members.   Because the military allows it.  You want to get rid of all the comments, photos and negativity surrounding fat service members (because we all know they exist) kick them out of the military!  Simple. Problem. Solved.  Sometimes it's easier to focus on the tone of the message and ignore the actual message.

So to all those who I have offended, maybe there is a reason you are so offended? I am merely one person who happens to know how to type on a computer.  A spouse who has been subjected to one to many lofty news feed posts.  One to many "do you know who my husband is?"  

Someone who is just not really afraid of being judged! So judge away.  Spend all day criticizing my marriage, my life, my shitty sentence structure.  Call me out on being a negative Nancy.  After all it's easier to dissect the messenger than maybe see a bit of yourself in the message :)

An open letter to the Chief Spouse community...

See what I did there, started it off all politically correct.  This should go swimmingly..

Sorry but it's just not fun anymore!

Yesterday marked the end of the season (I for one am thankful)..  There I was sitting down with my first cup of morning Java. I enjoyed it with a new Italian sweet cream.  You all should try it!  With Starbucks new coffee.  Oh so good..  But I digress..

Like most mornings I logged into FB, and the very first post in my feed was from a Navy spouse who happens to run a Chiefs spouse page, he/she was welcoming the new Chief spouses into the mess...  WHAT???  It took me a second to realize what I was seeing.   I even checked the page to be sure I hadn't somehow stumbled onto a REAL Chiefs page..  I reread the post thinking maybe she/he was welcoming the spouses into the Chiefs community. (Although I am still stumped on that one as well)  Nope, it was a spouse page, and said spouse was welcoming other spouses into the mess.  Like the real one.  You know the one the service members go to daily for work.  Yep that one!  I just shook my head and moved on about my day..

As the day progressed I began to notice a trend.  Spouses welcoming so and so into the mess.  Congratulating this person or that on their promotion.  But, here is the thing not a single person being welcomed or congratulated is actually serving their country. Sorry, being married to someone in the Military doesn't mean we serve.  Put all the bumper stickers on your car you want, but unless/until you sign an actual contract, complete boot camp and take a set of orders you are NOT in the military!  No waking up at 4 am to be at work, spending months sleeping in a tiny rack, or running the PRT.  NOPE!

 I would have to think back, but I don't seem to recall Ian needing my help to take the Chiefs test.  Just like I was not there when he took the test for E-4, 5 or 6.  I was slowly becoming more and more frustrated.  Why, you ask?  Well, pull up a chair because I am going to tell you, or if you are one of the people this letter is written to click the back button now and commence the shit talking :)

I do not love my husband any more now then I did before he was a Chief. There seems to be this misconception that being a Chiefs spouse somehow gives one status.   Um, let me see.  NOPE!  I was even given a nice little handbook to read at the meet and greet.  (in all honesty I had never seen the handbook until about 6 weeks ago, didn't even know it existed)  ha ha ha!  Personally I think that handbook should be given to ALL new Navy spouses.  Take Chief off the cover and just title it Navy Spouse!  The day you get married to someone in the military you should be given 2 things.  A sign that reads "everything in the Navy is written in Jello", and a Navy Spouse handbook.  The one I read  is chalked full of resources that ALL Navy spouses should be aware of.

Who I am as a wife/mother/(fill in the blank with career, as this seems to change with each duty station) is not undervalued because my husband is Navy.  Who I am is no less important that who he is.  What he does for his career does not equate to me being below him.  And, in some cases what I do to help his career.. Preparing the subpar meals, (some of you all know I can operate a rice cooker and boil pasta with the best of them) and keeping our sock basket full so he can root around at 5 am looking for a matching pair is important.    Yes, he makes more money that I do.  Yes, his career will always have to come first.  That is just the way the cookie crumbled for us.   But, see here is the thing, it was the same when he was an E-6, E-5.. you get my drift.  Who we are as a married couple and family is the exact same today as it was the day Ian enlisted. With the exception of more little minions running our lives, oh and less money (blame said minions) ....

This inherent need to wear a rank not bestowed to you is making things much worse for moral.   I get pride!  The day Ian was pinned Chief my chest swelled with pride for him.  Walking out with my man in his Khakis was an amazing feeling. (not to mention Ian can rock a set of Khakis)   You see Ian had worked so hard for his career.  Missed so many milestones in our lives.  Celebrated one to many birthdays and anniversaries with a phone call (if we were lucky)   Chief was his goal.  A benchmark of sorts.   All his hard work and dedication had paid off. He earned it, and I could not have been happier!  And, PLEASE don't give me that, we sacrifice crap..  We as Chief spouses don't sacrifice anymore than any other spouse.  If anything we should know and understand how trying being married to someone in the Navy can be.    

Is military life different YES! I would even go so far as to say more stressful than a regular job/career.  But, it is stressful from DAY 1, no matter the rank.  Officer, enlisted, chief, or petty officer.  As spouses we all have the same issues.  Same worries.  We all have our days where bed time can't come fast enough, and making that pay check stretch an extra week keeps us up at night.  Every single one of us has paced the floor at 2am praying that they are safe.  Quietly asking for the strength to just get through one more deployment.  Swearing that this is the LAST ONE!  He will just get out, retire, and work at Home Depot.  OK, well maybe not all of us, but most.

This us/them mentality is being perpetuated more and more in the Navy community by those spouses who should know better!   I for one am sick to death of it.  Pad your own resume, and stop walking around with your spouses taped to your chest.  All it's doing, really.. all it's doing is driving away the diversity that keeps the Navy community so unique and fun.  More and more spouses are puling away from the community.  Keeping themselves apart all together.  Just take a minuet to join your local FB page,  Notice how many spouses are on the page, then notice how many actually post on said page.  It tends to be the same ones over and over.. Posting in the same tone.  I would venture to guess most are the same base to base..(save a select few)   We are loosing so much of the good that existed back when Ian was an E-4, 5.  I was blessed to know so many wives of all different ranks.  We would sit in the Piazza while the kids played and wait for our guys who all worked so hard.    Each one with our own story, our own unique spin on life.  And it was FUN!  Hanging out at the Holiday (see dad my diversity is still kicking) dancing, drinking, and just letting go off all the mundane things Navy life throws at us.  Helping one another out with childcare because if we don't get just 2 hours of quiet time we are going off the first bridge we see.  Relying on one another for a cup of milk, or shot of vodka. Depending on the day.   Planning home coming and half way parties.  Getting a group of gals together at someones house the night before to trade deployment stories and manicures.  Gathering on the Pier and watching with pride as our Sailors came HOME!  Knowing deep down the cycle would start all over again.  But, knowing that no matter what you had your support system.


So, the next time you meet a spouse either in real life or via a FB page, take a moment and introduce YOU to them.. Chances are we all have a lot more in common then we think.. :)

Losing my religion!

Sadly it is GONE!   So much of what I was taught as a child no longer seems to coexist when the word religion is put on the table.  Everyone touting their beliefs, their rules, their commandments.  

When did we stop listening to one another?  If feels as though I woke up one day and realized religion is man made.   Just one more cog in a wheel of self importance, and high egos.  When did daily devotions become about telling others how they should live?   

Is it the loud minority?  I don't think so.  We have moved into a loud majority of Christians judging those around them.   Who's idea was it make this shift?  Where have I been for last last few years?  So many love to hear themselves talk and preach.  Not so many want open and honest dialogue.  

Was this a slow transition, or did it happen all at once?  Do Christians really believe that they have the right to tell others how to live?  How to love?  How to worship?   How to raise their children?  

Have we set out on a path of war against religion?  Who started the war?  How does it end?  What are the terms of surrender?  

Do Christians really believe God wants this disconnect among us?  God did not appoint me a judge in life!  How can people claim to have such wonderful relationships with God, yet spread hate and intolerance so easily?  

These are questions that I found myself plagued with.   I doubt I will find the answers any time soon.  To hot an issue to have an open, actual conversation.  To many believe they are doing Gods work.  

My religion has gone down the same road as politics.  Sadly there is just no hope that it will ever find it's way back into the light.. 

I have decided to step out of the religion debate, leave all the questions for another day or time.  The time has come to focus on those people who share the same values as I do.  Love, Compassion, Humility, Respect, and Tolerance....  That has become my new religion... :)  One I will be proud to raise my kids in!!